by Ethan Johnson
July 30, 2008

I am jumping the gun a bit here, as I was planning to make mention of my recent municipal rec center membership (super cheap) in a forthcoming "fitness update" article. But that's the scoop: I decided to sign up for the rec center so that I could have year-round fitness opportunities that are not necessarily dictated by the weather. Plus, they have indoor basketball courts. With lines and everything. Score!

Of course, the downside to the muni gym is... you have to share. The weight room is a veritable game of musical chairs. The walking/jogging track is rarely empty. The table games room is eternally full of ping-pong addicts and air hockey heroes. And diciest of all, the basketball courts tempt and taunt with varying availability.

The local rec center is also the local polling place during election years, so Marlena and I had an inkling of what the center would be like. But before signing up, the staff insists that you fully tour the building to inform your decision. I was informed that the weight room would be full of old folks around 10am. And the basketball courts would be dotted with solitary shooters or up-from-the-playground pickup games. I was heartened to see a girl with "special needs" cranking out shooting practice. I plunked down my yearly fee (around $5/month - actually, less) and got my ID card.

As I'll explore in more detail in the fitness update, I have been making my treks to the gym and doing a circuit. Actually, like the musical chairs game in the weight room, the circuit is devolving into "use whatever is available NOW!" The toughest activity to gauge is basketball practice.

Today, I saw a rare opening on one of the courts that has actual lines around the basket, as opposed to the nondescript hoops that line the court at varying heights (usually lowered for the little kids). Since I've gotta be me, I am tracking my basketball stats, but only on the hoops with the lines on the floor. I can't be sure if I am standing at the proper distance for free throws without them. The plain hoops are good for loosening up with, anyway.

Since I am something of a solitary beast when it comes to exercise-related activities, I prefer to practice my shooting alone. There are plenty of basketball-inspired folk around the gym who will indulge all comers in some one-on-one, or outright pickup games, and I'll get into that groove eventually. But as it stands today, my fundamentals are so piss-poor that I'm not thinking I'm going to add much value to the pickup game, except frustrate whoever picked me to be on their team because I was tall. Maybe I'm overthinking all of that. Just the same, I'd like to be more confident in my fundamentals (like dribbling - I am soooo one-armed) before mucking about with actual engagement.

I have worked out a solitary basketball practice routine. I play a two-sided version of "around the world". Observe the following diagram:

Positions 1-3 are close to the basket. I must make all three baskets in a row, one shot apiece. If I miss any of these three shots, I go to the other side (position 11 on the diagram) and build from there. Repeat.

Position 4 onward is afforded 2 shots before being relegated to the alternate shooting route. But before switching sides after two misses, I shoot 10 free throws. Today was a terrible basketball day, so I only made 2/10 free throws as my best score. Position 5 was as far as I ever got. Position 7 is the farthest I have ever reached since I started doing this routine.

(My dad, brother, and I used to play the 3-man version of this quite a bit, many years ago. This afforded the benefit of holding at positions 4-11 or being daring and trying for the 2nd shot, knowing a miss means "back to square one." There was much more trash talk back then, too.)

After the shooting regimen, I do some dribbling work off to the side to free up the basket for others. If the basket is still available after my dribbling work, I take random shots at the basket to try and determine what sort of player I am. Perimeter shooter? Inside lay-ups? Free throw specialist? (Ya'd think, but not 2/10.) I sank 2/4 3-point attempts today, and missed every lay-up. I could barely move past position 1 during my shooting drill today, so I'm probably a bench warmer. And by "bench" I mean the spectator benches.

When the basketball court is being hogged up by a full-court pickup game, I sit back and observe the flow of play. In the olden days of what is now soccer/football, there were no positions. If you got the ball, you dribbled it from where you stood and tried to score a goal. If you did, great. If not, the other side would take its turn. So it goes with pickup basketball. I'm sure there is some mathematical formula that explains the high likelihood that whoever gets the ball when the team is on offense will take the shot, no matter the angle or who else was open. I think "team" just means "we have five people who want to play." It's a good reminder as to why coaches are needed, if for no other reason than to manage the conflicting personalities.

It's also informative to observe little kids on the court. There were two kids (brother and sister) who took turns heaving up stationary shots. Misses were met with a shrug and an "oh well" sensibility, whereas making the shot, regardless of the launch point, was met with unbridled glee. The boy made a shot, squealed "I MADE IT!", demonstrated what he did, scored again, heaved it up once more because his sister missed the previous demonstration, and missed. He handed her the ball and said, "I missed that one, but it doesn't matter because I made the other ones."

It was inevitable that I would cross paths with the "special needs" girl I saw when I signed up. I was shooting free throws, and she walked up and asked if I minded if she used that basket. I figured we'd share. "Sure."

I started to take some shots, and she turned to me and said, "you have to move," pointing to any other open hoop.

Fine, I moved. I started to launch some shots at the nondescript basket, and she waved to me as I chased down a loose ball and said, "hi!"

I'm fascinated by the Hoop Nation. I saw a tall, languid teen girl exert the least amount of energy in the pursuit of shooting hoops, and yet her form was dead-on. She dribbled like she was dropping the ball out of sheer disinterest, only to have the ball return to her open palm, and back down, between the legs, back and forth, behind her back, and up to shoot, swish. Meanwhile, I dribble like I am trying to squash ants or something. Very frenetic, very stiff, very dorky. I'm very ready for the day when I find that flick of the wrist, that exertion of the least amount of energy, and fire off a smooth jumper from 18 feet with a silky swish through the hoop.

Or I'll just be that much more appreciative of those who can do those things today. <EM>

(Sports? Why, sure! The ethmar.com sports archive may be found here.)